Being a Star

I most definitely enjoy the arts. Pretty much anything under that genre of stuff... acting, dancing, painting, writing, singing, playing an instrument... anything that pulls out creativity. Coming with that, I want my art to be seen, heard, known. I have a lot of mini dreams that fall into this area. They're mini because I don't tend to explore them. Something usually stops me from searching them out more than just a thought before bed, or a lingering desire after certain types of movies. Mostly that something is fear. Fear of failure and fear of actually being good and then that being my downfall... a fear of pride. These fears haven't quite squashed the seed that propaganda has planted within. I want to be a star. Not star as in everyone knows me and wants to be me, but star as in everyone knows my creations.

Reach for the stars...
Be a star...
Follow your dreams...
Be the best...
Be YOU, cause YOU is great, but let's just change this, so that way YOU can have all YOU want.

Some of this I even hear from within the church. It sounds good. It sounds great. I was even thinking that it's Biblical and what God wants, but without much search into, I'm beginning to wonder on the truth of it. I don't think it's Biblical, I think it's American. It's society's "good" philosophy.

Not that it's wrong to be all I can be. Or necessarily wrong that I want to be seen. Or even wrong that I follow dreams, But

When did it become all about me?

Why do I want to be a star? All puffed up with gas.... millions of light years away where my light is seen, but barely. To be a star in the sky would be to be seen only a glimpse of who I am created to be. Again, started to sound like it's all about me...

But what if I am the moon? What if I am seen, but the light that shines forth is the glory I have always been called to carry... the reflection of the light of the sun, the glory of the Son. Then it wouldn't be about me. I would be ray of hope in the night, reminding all who are in the dark that there is a sun and it will rise again.

I don't know how coherent any of this is... maybe one day I'll read through this and make it more cohesive, but it's just some thoughts that were weighing on my mind as I lie here in bed.