Next To Me

I am listening to Sleeping At Last's beautiful song "Next To Me." It's a love song (though, the love in this song doesn't seem to have to be romantic).

When I hear it I began to feel wistful and almost as though I have romantic memories. As though I've actually been in such a relationship as the song describes. And though there have been a couple times I thought mutual interest would grow to more, I have never been in a "relationship."

Certain lines in the song really woo my heart. One in particular got me thinking.

"I know since we've grown we ache for those memories. Honestly, nothing's even compared to you next to me, next to me."

I began to contemplate if there really was anyone I could say this too (not even in a romantic sense). Is there anyone I would just long to be next to... more than revisiting any certain time? Or maybe there's a certain time with a certain person I would long for more than any other?

As I thought these thoughts feeling slightly lonely, I realized that I did have someone. My smiling Jesus. And He in turn tells me that nothing's even compared to me next to Him.

I smiled at this beautiful truth and became doleful at my lack of our nearness as of late.

So thank you Sleeping At Last for reminding who I long to be next to... and who yearns to be next to me.

I Shame Stronger

Pools slosh in my eyes.
I have forgotten You
    Yet again.
And while I yearn
    To be closer than skin
And crave
    To feel Your breath
I shame stronger.
My head reminds me of what I am
    What I've done
        And worse
            What I've left undone.
Your whisper calls me nearer.
I long to respond
I shame stronger.
Foolishness, I know
But so has everything else
    Leading to this point
I feel too weak to exercise
How will I ever get strong?
How do I get to this point?
Your whisper calls me nearer.
May it strengthen me
for
I shame stronger
I am weepy
    Yet apathetic
This isn't true repentance
is it?
Your whisper calls me nearer.
Could You just yell...
Or maybe physically grab me
You know You're what I want
I just have to get up
    But I seem to have forgotten how
I shame stronger
Put a feeling in me
Love
Anger
Conquering
Something other than this
This
This shame induced apathy
Your whisper calls me nearer.
Okay...
I'm rolling over
Feet hit the cold floor.
Your whisper calls me nearer.
I shame strong
Your whisper calls me nearer.
I shame
Your whisper calls me nearer.
I
Your whisper calls me nearer.
You