tell me your heart

oh goodness feel this heartbeat.
could i write such glorious words as to stir the hearts of many?
will these strokes and letters ever sink to the deepest parts of souls?
not to be hidden but to breathe life to awaken the eyes to see the invisible...
oh feel this heartbeat of mine.
of yours for we beat the same, how close we are.

he has my heart and my lips praise him
my lips long to taste his words and love
i delight in him and he in me!
i feel his pleasure in my pleasure
he woos me with poetry and art,
his music calls my name in sweet harmonies
oh he woos, yes he woos me.

and what are you feeling?
broken heart are your edges still too sharp?
peel off your bandages and let your heart weep, if only for a moment
and after the moment, what next
a washing a cleansing a wooing of sorts
let him take you. i dont mind sharing
in fact i love to, for we are one, don't you see?
i long to see your hearts leap for joy
how much more does he?

your steps are heavy with the burdens upon your back
tear them off. NOW yes NOW!
do not wait for what will you gain?
be not obsessed with the things of intellect, or the things of laziness
do not swoon over consummation of time, but delight in the stillness
revel in him. much as i do
you will find delight. yes delight! hahahaha

oh gloriousness is your name. fantabulous, beautimas.... how sweet are your names to me. give me more give me more... so i may call them out even louder. hallowed, loverly, splendiferous! hahahaa yes yes you are to me.

is he to you? tell me your heart.

2:34 pm

2:34 pm

the time love lost its zeal
and i had to determine what is real.

emotions lacking foundation
and everything i know comes to summation.

your love is beautiful
your words irrefutable

its all i know, all i know

and when all feelings have left
you still remain my cleft

stretched at length
this is where i find my strength

you love is beautiful
your words irrefutable

it's all i know, yes it's all i know

beyond feelings, beyond emotion,
i'm still drowning in your love's ocean

wall flower power

delicate petal, so pale
your breath brings melodies
painting the delighted tears hanging
amidst the softest of night skies

alas, you flush with a gentle pink
holding back the glow you possess within
shy lil girl
if only you'd shine your light

how darkness would shake!
the beauties of the earth would at last
be seen... be seen
and revel in glories untold

yet you dim beneath the lies
the ones that caress your fears.
and all the while you hold the strength
if only you'd choose to wield...

if only you'd choose courage

what is it i know?

i stand precariously on a top.
every lil motion causing dramatic twists and turns... ups and downs
and i wonder at what to do
where is this strength i am said to have

i enjoy the north wind, but the southern breeze destroys it all
how can a breeze overtake a wind?
i do not understand.
nope not at all

thank goodness im not meant to understand everything.
one day i may search for this phenomenon's origin
but until then i will stand on what i do know
this i know...

you are good, and your mercies endure forever

you will provide i have no need to worry.

i am loved by you

you are my God, my Savior, my friend... my Lover

you call me beautiful.

and you tell me... i do not stand upon a top, but upon a rock. you will not be shaken you will not be moved and on you i stand. yesterday today and forever.

for me this is beautiful. i thank you and praise your name. search my heart and know my motives. may i be moved by you.

with your voice you paint the sky.
your touch is music to my skin, to my tender heart
i am held by your wonderful creations... the sights for me to feel.
tasting your fragrance romances my soul
and smelling your sweetness beckons me closer

i dance upon your beauty and am enraptured in your love
enraptured in your love

when all feeling is gone you are still there
your splendidness does not change
glory glory glory glory

perceive my motives, touch my heart,
may it be for you. may it be for you.
for you are always faithful... always faithful
i am overwhelmed.
could i handle anymore of your love?

beauty beauty beauty
it sings in the night sky
it breaks upon the shores of my tears
the oceans of my weeping
how lovely are you
how lovely are you

i feel warmth in the snowflakes
and coolness in the humid breeze
you are with me
OH GOD YOU ARE STILL WITH ME

how lovely how lovely how lovely

when the lights of this world distract from your stars
i know that they are still there
when the voices of this world scream out
i know your voice is still there
in the whisper
in the quiet
glorious father, magnificent one.

i love you
i love you
i love you











i love you.

beauty and the beast

I am monstrous and devious
A disgrace and scum
I am hideous to behold
And repulsive and numb

I am the beast

Yet you call me beauty

I am murderous, adulterous
A liar and a fake
I am filled with pride
And with self love, self hate

I am the beast

Yet you call me beauty

here i lay
prostrate on the floor
soaking in the tears
asking for more

i am the beast

yet you call me beauty

i dont understand how
you'd love someone so weak
someone like me
liar, sinner, a freak

i am the beast

yet you call me beauty

you call me beauty?!
can't you see
i've destroyed all the beauty
you created me to be

i am now the beast

still you call me beauty

i hear your words over and over
they're whispered in my ear
but the truth of them troubles me
i am grasped by fear

i am the beast

yet you call me beauty

i dont understand
i cant really see
how you can find beauty
when you look at me

for i see a beast
ghastly yet worn
terrific and evil
yet a heart that is torn
i see a beast
broken and afraid
lost in reality
playing a sick charade

i am a beast

yet you call me beauty (and i don't understand, but...)
you call me beauty
you call me beauty
you call me beauty

I want to blog more.

I think I will.

In a little less than a week, I will be going to college. exciting. nerve-wracking.

I think one of the thing i am most excited for though is my new laptop. It's mandatory that I have a mac-book pro with music accessories. The price is horrendous, but I have always wanted one... I never would have gotten it if it wasn't mandatory. I'm glad it is. :). It's God's will that I'm going out and doing these things... I think he can pay for it.

His will His bill.

There's a lot going on, but what can really be said? I don't know.

I think I'm gonna journal now... if I don't I may start sharing the secret things, that need to be kept secret. shhhh. good night